Want to Make More Sales? You Have to Connect

Philosophically, everyone (and everything) communicates. Whether you’re a grizzly bear or a human working in sales, we’re all communicating constantly. With words, with physical cues—it’s all communication.

But connection? That’s different. If you’re not connecting when communicating with potential clients, there’s no doubt that you’re missing out on sales.

This guide will help you learn how to create connections on purpose—not by being louder or more charismatic, but by being controlled, intentional, and client-focused. Because you don’t lose deals because you lack knowledge. You lose deals because the client emotionally checks out before you get to the good stuff.

Let’s fix it.

How Connection is Impacting Your Sales

All day, every day, we’re communicating. But connecting is different. Connection comes when the other person feels seen, safe, and guided. And when it comes to sales, communication is information, while connection is influence.

If your client feels connected, they stay with you longer, trust you faster, and forgive small mistakes. If they don’t feel connected, it doesn’t matter how good your offer is. They tune out.

What Is Connection?

At its core, connection is attention and trust. In order to create a connection, your audience (or your client) always needs those two things:

• Attention: Getting them to listen. Whoever you’re talking to (or pitching) needs to be interested enough to stop what they’re doing and focus on you long enough to actually hear what you have to say. You have to be interesting and clear so they stay engaged.
• Trust: Getting them to follow you. Once they’re listening, they need to feel safe and confident that you know what you’re talking about and that you care. Meaning they need to trust you enough to take your advice or join you on your journey.
  Everything we’ll go through ladders up to these two things: either getting their ear (attention) or earning their heart (trust).

The Enemies of Connection

Whether you’re trying to build a connection with one person or a packed room, there are two natural enemies of creating connections when communicating: anxiety and self-focus.

Here’s how it usually plays out in conversation:

• Anxiety: When you’re anxious, you tend to speed up and fill space. It usually comes from a place of trying to get all of the pertinent information out as quickly as you can. You talk too fast, rush your points, and skip over natural pauses.
• Self-focus: When the focus is on you, you tend to talk at people instead of with them. It feels more like your one-person show, where you’re focused on performance, not the other person.

These two can also create a vicious cycle of speeding up to try to get things under control, increasing your self-focus, and then that focus making you more anxious. All the while, you’re ruining the flow of your messaging.

What Can We Learn About Sales From Animals?

It sounds wild, but the animal kingdom can tell you a lot about communication. (And sales.) While we don’t know if birds and bees experience anxiety and self-focus, we do know that they use some of the same tools we use to hide our feelings and fear.

Going Monotone: Our Version of Camouflage

When the animals try to hide, they use camouflage. We can’t change our colors to hide as a chameleon can, but we can tone ourselves down to hide our discomfort by becoming flat and monotone.

• What “monotone” looks like on a sales call:
• You use the same volume and pitch from start to finish.
• Your sentences end the same way (no upward/downward inflection).
• There’s no contrast between what matters and what doesn’t.
• There’s little to no pausing in your speech.
• You sound like you’re reading a slide deck, not talking to a human.

Camouflage may work well in nature, but it’s probably not going to win over the hearts and minds of anyone you’re talking to. Or create connections.

Here’s why going monotone doesn’t work well (and what your client feels):

• It signals low conviction.
• If your voice doesn’t change when something is important, our brains assume it’s not important.
• People don’t follow flat energy.
• It reduces trust.
• Humans use tonality to detect confidence, certainty, and honesty.
• Monotone creates ambiguity: “Are they bored? Nervous? Not sure?”
• It lowers attention.
• The brain stays alert when there’s variation.
• Monotone is like a lullaby for decision-makers.
• It kills urgency.
• Even a great point lands softly if it’s delivered like a weather report.
• Urgency lives in contrast and pauses.
• It makes you sound scripted.
• Buyers can smell “pitch voice.”
• Monotone delivery signals “This is rehearsed,” which triggers resistance.

Trying to Impress: When We Posture

If going flat isn’t your reflex, you may go too far in the other direction of the animal kingdom and start posturing. Think of a peacock strutting around in all of its glory. Sure, it may look cool, but it really feels like a show.

What “trying to impress” looks like on a call:

• You talk a lot to prove competence.
• You stack features, credentials, and case studies early.
• You answer questions with long explanations.
• You rush to sound sharp.
• You fill the silence because you want to look “on it.”

None of that is terrible. It just creates the wrong experience for your buyer.

Here’s why posturing doesn’t work well (and what your client feels):

• They feel talked at, not understood.
• The client’s brain goes: “Cool…but do they get my situation?”
• Buyers don’t trust intelligence first. They trust understanding first.
• It raises skepticism.
• When someone is clearly selling how good they are, the natural reaction is, “What are they trying to convince me of?”
• Confidence is quiet. Needing to prove yourself is loud.
• You lose attention.
• If you’re performing, you’re not pacing.
• Clients check out when they can’t see where the story is going for them.
• It kills collaboration.
• Impressing = “Watch me.” Connecting = “Let’s think together.”

People buy more when they feel like they arrived at the answer with you. When you’re making your conversation less of a chat and more of a show, the connection is killed.

Fix Your Delivery with Practical Tools

Now that we’ve covered what not to do, let’s talk about how we can improve connection during sales conversations.

Try These Tips Instead

Overcoming your old communication patterns just takes an arsenal of tools and some good old-fashioned practice. Try these tools the next time to keep you from falling back into the same pitfalls of the past.

Hook Them First

Using a hook (a short, curiosity-building setup) grabs the other person’s attention before you ever ask a question or make a point. It’s an especially powerful tool to use when you’re transitioning between points.

Some hooks to try:

• “If you remember one thing, it’s this…”
• “This next part is the most important…”

Read Body Cues and Label Emotions

If you observe something in conversation, call out what you’re noticing, then invite a correction. This shows you’re attuned without guessing.

For example: If your client looks tired or distracted during your meeting, say, “Hey, I’m noticing you look like you’ve got a lot on your plate today. Do you want to take this slower, or would it help if I tightened this up to the essentials?”

Why it works:

• You’re not judging, just noticing.
• You give two good options.
• Your client feels seen and in control.

Use Uptones and Downtones

The best way to battle monotone language is with uptones and downtones in your sentences. An uptone shows curiosity and invitation, while downtone conveys certainty and leadership.

Uptone example: “So help me understand… when someone lands on the site, what do you want them to do first?” Here, you’re inviting discovery. Upward inflection on “first?” keeps it open.

Downtone example: “Okay. So the real priority isn’t more traffic. It’s getting the booking channel working cleanly.” Downward inflection on “cleanly” lands certainty and direction.

The simple guide to tones is: Questions go up. Conclusions go down.

Create Space Through Pauses

A well-placed pause in your conversation creates weight and stops you from talking past the client’s emotions.

After a key point: “If we get direct bookings to 30 to 40%, your dependence on Airbnb drops fast.” Pause. “How does that land for you?”

Why it works: Pausing lets the idea sink in. Then, you can ask for their reaction, not agreement.

Before a hard question: “Can I ask something a little direct?” Pause. “What budget have you set aside for this?”

Why it works: The pause softens the directness and gives them time to brace.

Kill the Filler Words

When you use filler words like “kind of,” it makes you seem vague and unsure. Removing these words gives you an air of confidence and surety to let your client know that you know your stuff.

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